ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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