Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
