Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
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