but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
