i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
