Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
