My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
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You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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