I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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