I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
my poor anus
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
