I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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