I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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