Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
