Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
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