Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Can I color on your dick again?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
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