Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
