dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
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