You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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