My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
