doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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