Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
