this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Who died my cat blue again?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
