You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
