I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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