i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
