the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Let's paint friendship bongs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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