ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
