i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
