My hand turned me down
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
