I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
