He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
