I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
