i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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