I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
