Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
