I faked an abortion last night.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
