the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
