I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
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This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
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No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.