now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
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The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
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HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.