While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
