Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
