My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize