I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
My first STD was from a foam party
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize