"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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