Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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