just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
