My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
