it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
