I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
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I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
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i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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