I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
