i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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