I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize