i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
