This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
