Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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