He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
