i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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