so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
This girl is more easily done than said...
In America we eat man semen.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
