Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
