Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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