Say something about gay babies.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
